Today I am continuing my story from where I left on in my November post. That post ended on a high note in my story. I had been told by my doctor that I was safe. Whatever it was that I had felt in my breast was nothing to be concerned about according to the mammogram results.
So the euphoria lasted for a few days then I began to worry again. I had a feeling that all was not well. I just somehow knew. Since my husband died a couple of years earlier, one of my constant prayers was that God would reveal any disease hiding in my body before it got to a point where it was difficult to treat. This prayer was as a result of the seemingly sudden diagnosis of stage 4 colon cancer of my husband. His oncologist said he must have had the cancer which took his life about 10 years before he was diagnosed and we never knew. So I prayed that I would not be caught unaware of impending doom. I continued to pray to God to show me what was wrong. I was still experiencing symptoms like see- sawing weight, hair shedding, dizzy spells and itching in my breasts. Every test that I had done came back negative for any serious illness.
At the end December, two months after my mammogram, I had a physical and medical exam. I was still concerned about the lump in my breast so my doctor suggested I have it removed even if it was benign. I agreed a hundred percent and had him refer me to this amazing surgeon that I knew of. He had been my friend's surgeon when she had breast cancer. He had a near legendary reputation for being not only extremely skilled as a surgeon but also for being a kind and thorough man. I had no doubt that I was in good hands. So I was surprised when God placed a particular scripture on my heart before I went to see him. Psalm 146:3-5. It simply meant that my trust should be in God over man.
I went to see the good doctor. He examined me and gave me his opinion that the lump did not feel like anything dangerous. However, because he is very thorough, he did a biopsy on me. A week later I got the devastating news that I had stage 2 breast cancer and it was very aggressive.
Imagine my devastation, my confusion but also my relief. So I finally had a reason for my general lack of wellbeing. Don't get me wrong I went through a roller coaster of emotions. Why was this happening to me. I had hardly recovered from losing my husband and now me? Really God, I asked. Where are you in all this.
Lessons Learnt
Trust your instincts. Don't ignore signals that your body gives you when all is not well. Do not give up on seeking answers to questions and conditions that have not been resolved. There is a saying that God reveals to Redeem. The Holy Spirit always warns us of dangerous situations to come and urges us to pray to have positive outcomes. We may not see clearly what the problem is but anytime you do not have peace about a situation make sure you take that feeling to God for resolution and for peace. God will give you a feeling of disquiet to encourage you to pray and seek His face for a resolution that will work out for your good. If I had not prayed through my situation, I probably would have ignored my malfunctioning body because the mammogram tested negative for cancer. The cancer would have progressed to a point that it would have been difficult to treat. I would have died prematurely.